Taking Care

Self care is one of the tools that has changed my life the most (along with mindfulness).  Since I discovered that I have Personal Power, I've been realizing how much control I do have in my life.  I'm the hero of this plot, my life-movie.  Other people come on the scene and do their thing (each the hero of their own story) but still, this movie is mine.  Literally empowering.  

5:30AM

I'm still getting up early early.  It's one of the few chances I really have consistently to practice.  So, morning person or not, I've been doing it.  Last night I went to sleep at 9:30 though to make up for it.  Here's rag doll.  

Willful Practice

I like yoga because it is so practical and it's a system with such a broad range of tools.

There are a lot of things I want to learn, balance, attain.  It's about dedicating myself to my own self understanding with the relentless unconditional love of a parent to a child.  Or the rapt attention of new lovers for one another.  

Feel like it or not, I'm intending to commit willfully to a daily practice of Hatha yoga (the poses), meditation, study, conscious breathing and yogic devotion to my own path.  It's excited and intimidating.

I have everything I need to do this.  And I even made a teeny closet into my own teeny private study place.  Setting aside space and time for myself!  It feels great.  

Making Time

I love my sleep.  Always have.  In fact I'm typically a 9-10 hour a night kind of girl.  But with a new full-time job that starts at 8:30 AM, yoga therapy training, a partner and a child if I'm going to fit in any serious yoga and meditation it has to be carved out of my sleeping time.  New habits!   So here I am at 6:30AM having just did a solid hour of practices.  Feeling good!  

Not a Morning Person

Didn't get to post this yesterday...developing a routine that involves getting up when it is dark is against my natural inclinations to party til midnight and sleep til 9.  Oh self-control how you challenge me... :/. This is me starting out with an in-bed child's pose at something ungodly like 5:30 in the morning.  Wtf??  But yeah...it really does feel good to work toward my goals.  

Personal Power

I've been consciously on my "path" for about five years now.  In that time I've read a LOT of self-help, DIY therapy, spiritual books of various kinds, and generally sifted through my beliefs continuously.  Now, when I read a book of that type I can readily recognize what feels "true" for me, and what doesn't.  The important question for me is whether or not the idea being presented will be of practical value to me.  That includes spiritual theories too.  We all have the opportunity to choose our own story-  externally we have a great deal of control, and internally we have unlimited personal power to change our inner landscape.  Collecting ideas and practices that fit for me had brought me a deep daily awareness of my own power, and it supports me in changing my old thought patterns, limiting assumptions, stuck emotions, anduch more.  Today I read this from Brenda Davies, M.D., 

"I control each and every thing that comes to me.  I accept complete responsibility for my life.  I am the power. So be it."  

I like that.  And I've experienced my own power to change my world, so I know it is true for me.  

On a less serious note-  mirror play!  :)

Yoga Jam

Getting some music I love in a playlist for yoga.  Yesterday I did an hour without wanting to stop.  Yaaaay music!  Also this one song from Thomas Newman is rocking my world right now.  "Any Other Name", my soundtrack.

In this body

Some days...not as much

Woke up at 6:30 and was dead tired.  I got onto my mat and settled into child's pose.  That was almost it, but that itself was more than I've done in the past.  I also got a few minutes to read what I'm studying (study being another arm of the 8 limbed path or yoga), as well as some mindful breathing practice.  Love it that no matter what's going on the breath is there to come back to. I didn't get time to meditate today and by this evening I noticed I was dramatically crankier than when I do meditate.  Tomorrow another day, another opportunity for willful practice.  And yes, the child's pose felt good.  

Play

Yoga helps me get back into the fun of body exploration I had as a kid.  Remember summersaults, rolling down the hill, running around because it was exhilarating?  

Today I took my little boy to the playground and while he romped, I did a little yoga flow and played with Scorpion again.  I'm finding the perfect amount of initial lift to get up and balance but not flop all the way over.  Today I practiced against a tree.  Ahhh.

Yoga Life

Off to teach my Sunday morning class.  Here's my real life so far today...my little son woke me up at 5 AM and I was not happy about it.  Suffering...what does it mean?  Why do we experience it?  Age old mystery.  Breathing helps.  

Then I got to the studio and used the tool where you do what's good for you even if you don't feel like it.  Below are some "be real" scorpion at the wall attempts

Being a Yogi Today

I'm into yoga.  If you know me, you probably already know that.  It's a whole kind of lifestyle system, and I find it really helpful and cool.  But if you don't know much about it, yoga can seem strange, mystical, boring, unattainable...lots of things.  Traditional ways that were once revered and followed (and still are by many) are now becoming out of sync with the way we see things in the modern world.

So, here's me, being a yogi, every day for the next year (or as often as I can manage in my real life).

Some notes:
I don't like the word "yogini" so I don't use it.  Sounds like a bad cross between yogurt and linguini to me.

About hurt feelings:
I'm not out to offend or shock.  However, I will not be limiting myself to fit in.  I am being authentically me. There are seemingly unlimited places on the internet to get information or be entertained.  If this is not one that suits you, that's ok.

Brief intro: I am 33 and 3/4, a scorpio, an ex-christian-fundamentalist, a mom of one, a political progressive, pansexual and proud, a sign language interpreter, a student of yoga and restorative body work, Taoism, Thich Nhat Hahn, and lots of other things.  Everyone has many nuances, influences, labels, roles.    I might say things some find offensive. (See yogini comment above).  I deeply respect that each person has their own perspective.  I share mine to participate in human culture, to support causes I believe in, and to be expressive.  Most of all in this endeavor I want to be real.  Real human life in the western world is a wildly varied experience.  This is a peek into mine.

Enough with the intro.

August 16, Saturday
Got to sleep in.  This is me being very serious in tree pose.  And then realizing if I turned my head I could look like I was eating light.  Or shining light out of my mouth.  Either way.  #YogaLife #BeReal