Friday, February 8, 2013


Anger is a normal emotional experience of every human being.  Sometimes the weather is sunny and warm, sometimes it is cold and overcast.  Emotions are like the weather for our inner landscape.  Recently I've been learning how to be more in touch with my own emotional responses, and anger is an important feeling to get to know.   "Pleasant"or "positive" emotions aren't as challenging for me to process- who doesn't enjoy a gorgeous blue sky and perfect temperature?  But storms, even small ones, can be really disruptive if I'm not internally prepared.  Some people have trouble managing their anger and have innapropriate outbursts, but I had been in the habit of ignoring my anger, like trying to drive in a snow storm but refusing to believe the conditions are dangerous.  So now, learning about my friend anger is helping me understand myself better.  I talked with my lightworker coach about this yesterday, and she had some simple but profound tips for me I'd like to share.

* NEVER allow anger in the car.  It is a form of entrapment, and neither person can leave the situation if they feel overwhelmed.
*CHOOSE one room in your house for angry/heated discussions.  The energy of anger is powerful, and isolating it to one area allows space for the experience without spreading it all over. 
*GO outside if possible when you are angry or need to have a discussion that has anger attached to it.  The peaceful energy of nature helps disperse the intensity.
*IMMEDIATELY  stopping someone from using their anger to SABOTAGE, CONTROL, or ABUSE you is ALWAYS appropriate.
*YOU don't need to ask permission from anyone to stand up for yourself.  If someone is demeaning you, tell them to stop. 
*TAKE time and space when needed, to allow yourself to experience the feeling of anger without being harmful to the other person.
*NOTICE what kinds of general issues and personal situations trigger anger.  That allows you to be ready to respond rationally when those situations arise.

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