Becoming a mother brings a new perspective of reality, a joining into a continuation of a pattern of relationship as old as humanity, a coming around the circle from being a child of a mother, to being that mother. It is a relationship in which mother and child dance a primal dance together, grappling with what it means to be human.
With great difficulty and love and amazement, we learn from one another, gudie each other as teacher and student simaltaneously. It is a sacred experience, in that all of life is sacred, but the divine aspect is perhaps more than usually emphasized in the intimate role we play in the life of our mother, she in ours, we in the life of our child, they in ours.
We are given a mantle of responsiblity, the weighty, joyous task of peering into the wide eyes of this little human and discerning what is needed, what inner passions exist, what potential lies within, what direction can we offer to help this person unfold. In return that ancient-new wise-innocent gaze offers to show us day by day how to become the guide that is needed, offering moment by moment lessons in becoming a human worth being a leader, a mother.
And in becoming a mother, we are able to look with great compassion and gratitude to the one who mothered us, and who mothered her, and her, back through the generations of humanity and know that each of us is doing the best we can from our level of understanding.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~ Rumi
In spite of being surrounded by other humans, a pervasive sense of loneliness seems to be a common human experience. It can be frustrating to try to form deep connections that feel fulfilling, to feel like the other person sees who you are, and accepts you for that person. In return, our own expectations and personal ideas about what love and true understanding look and feel like can keep us from seeing the love available to us. Everyone has the same desire to love, to be loved. Think about that. If every person in your life feels the same ache of longing for love and understanding you do, what does that mean for our relationships? I have been thinking about this idea, of working on learning to accept the love that people have to give, not the love I think they should give. If I hold it against someone that they can't "love" me the way I expect them to, and in return if I close myself off to receiving the love they do offer, I am the one keeping myself from love, not the other person. I am working right now at listening to myself as though I am my own beloved (because I am!), and if I struggle daily to give myself the kind of true love I want from someone else, how can I be surprised that I don't receive that love from others? If I judge someone else and find something lacking in the level and quality of their love then perhaps what I am looking for is not something in them, but something in me that needs my own attention and love. Love is patient.
